OPR (Official Poker Report) for 5/14/98
Present: Robbie, Mikey, Dewey, Markie
ABSENT: BRYAN (LAME EXCUSE - I DON'T HAVE A CAR)
DAVEY (LAME EXCUSES - I FORGOT / WIFE SICK)
Memorable moments are indeed memorable, but only for those who
actually show up (yes, that's a dig!). Therefore, this months
memorable moments will be presented as a quiz for those in
abstentia.
True/False
1. Rob deals "Criss/Cross" cards on the table but totally forgets
to deal out cards to players. He starts game by flipping cards.
Mikey almost falls off chair laughing as Rob has no clue.
2. Markie gets a call from his boss during the game. Boss asks
Mark if he can come into work now due to major system crash.
Markie thinks the call is actually a joke from a friend and tells
boss to f*ck off. Boss not amused.
3. Dewey gets bit in the butt by one of Markie's dogs after he
wacked dog in the mouth for stealing his pizza.
4. Mikey, in usual state of total confusion, wins hand of
"Criss/Cross" but has no idea. He thinks Rob wins. Rob knows
Mikey wins but has no problem accepting the pot.
5. Dewey, already upset from being down $25, becomes enraged
after catching Mikey dealing off the bottom of the deck. Dewey
throws cards in Mikey's face and storms out, returning moments
later with a .38 semi-automatic. Dewey shoots but only grazes
Mikey as he hides behind Jan for cover.
6. Markie, down big time in "Guts", tries to get it all back at
once. With $30 in the pot, he goes in with a Queen/Nine...and
wins.
7. Rob starts choking after stuffing too many chocolate chip
cookies in his mouth. Desperately seeking someone to perform the
Heimlich for him, no one does as everybody thinks he's kidding.
Or, atleast he assumes that was the reason.
8. Mikey, while inspecting new porch construction, leans against
unfastened supporting beam and knocks it over, causing entire
porch to collapse.
9. Mikey places 5 lottery scratch tix into pot. Rob wins $500
total and promises $50 for everyone who was there.
10. Poker history is made when while playing "Roids" everyone is
dealt a King on the same hand. Unfortunately, total confusion
then breaks out as we can't figure out if all of us or none of us
need to put a pile in.
Bonus Question - Multiple Choice:
The next scheduled game is:
a. Tomorrow
b. Yesterday
c. Who cares, I won't be there anyway
d. What game?
e. All of the above
Scoring:
10 correct- Think you're pretty smart, huh
9 - You must have got lucky
8 - Ya, so what
7 - No big deal
6 - Anybody could do that
5 - 50/50 chance dude
4 - You call yourself a player?
3 - Are you kidding me?
2 - You should be ashamed
1 - Moron
0 - Retard
Bonus Question:
Forget it, no points.
Respectfully submitted,
Rob Steinberg, OPA / OPR